This week in the book has been all about letting go of your worries, fears, anxieties and not allowing yourself to get trapped in your head by negative thought patterns. The chapter explains how one negative thought leads to another and before you know it, you're in tears for no apparent reason. I've been there. It also explains how using nervous energy to create is one of the best tools you can have. Wed, for example, I felt anxiety almost the entire day, I decided to use it instead of trying to get it to go away. I ended up getting a ton of things done that I otherwise wouldn't have. Always a great feeling to be able to check a few "to-do's" off the list.
Last night, I had a beer.
Yes, a beer. I didn't have a drink because I was stressed out, because I wanted to cope with something, or because I wanted to get out of my head. I had a beer because I wanted to have one. This, isn't an experience I am used to. I used to drink at work all the time to make the time go by faster, or to escape the customers and so on. I would drink because I was sad and wanted to escape that feeling, so to just pass the time of being unsure where my future is going. Last night I had a beer because I wanted one. And, it tasted great. If I want to live a life of moderation, then maybe I should start now, instead of giving myself little time frames to try and learn by. Maybe, I need to start listening to my heart a little bit more, instead of just trying to reach and touch goals that I have set up for myself to control myself. Can I find a safety zone between out of control and total control? Can I find a sense of liberation within the control I have set for myself?
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