Week 5, Day 5

Weekly Walk

Tonight I decided it was a good night to go for my weekly walk. I've sort of had a lot in my head this evening, so I figured it was a good time to walk it out. It's 29 degrees outside, but my toes would argue much colder. I bundled up and decided I'd take a stroll through Time Square. As someone that would call them self a "New Yorker", Time Square is very much a zone that you avoid at all costs. If you live in New York City, the only time you actually go there on purpose is if you have a purpose. Tonight, I did. I wanted to catch a glimpse into what it is that makes so many people gather and stare. I've forgotten what it is like to be amazed by so many bright lights.

When I first moved here, almost 8 years ago at this point, one of my friends from Michigan actually lived downtown. We met up one night to go for a walk aimlessly and ended up in Time Square. I remember thinking how awesome it was that I lived so close to such an awesome place. I was in awe of all the lights and people, the cars, the craziness. I was also filled with pride for myself for following my dream to New York.

Now, I live only a few measly blocks from the center of Time Square and I try my best not to have to go there. I walk around it, or take a different subway stop, I avoid the crowds and people standing in the middle of the side walk to just stare up. It feels like maybe NYC has lost some of it's charm to me. Or, maybe I've just grown past what used to charm me?

Tonight, I walked across 50th street, and directly into the top of Time Square. I slowly walked down Broadway and actually took the time to look around. And, it is true, Time Square has lost the magic to me. There weren't a ton of people all over. There was plenty of space to move around and no one standing in my way. I remember sparkling shinning lights, and now all I see are huge screens with flashing images. The Virgin Megastore is closed and a Forever 21 in it's place. I don't what I expected to feel, or to see, but this wasn't it.

Sometimes you just don't get to see what you expect, or what you want. Sometimes it's just out of your control. I think I often expect things to be a certain way and become very disappointed when everything isn't perfect. I have a hard time giving over control and just trusting that everything will be ok. I want to where, when, why and how come about everything.

MORNING PAGES

CHECK.