Week 7, Day 3

I'm still here, I'm still on board.

I missed updating this page on Sunday and Monday, but I still did the work.

Sunday was an awesome day and I did put the morning pages off until about 3am. I almost fell asleep writing them. But, I have to find some sort of balance between putting all of this work first and having fun in my life too. I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure things out for myself, which has been awesome, but I need to really find a safe balance to make sure that I'm not using this work to ignore other things in my life. Perhaps reading two books at the same time, taking an on-camera class, doing the blog, and starting a new job is a little much all at the same time. I am half way through though, no stopping now.

Abstinence is changing my life and total way of thinking and looking at relationships. The other day, I reached a level of intimacy with someone that I hadn't experienced in a very long time. It was strange to me to feel so connected and in tune with someone and not have actual sex be involved. It was a very interesting lesson to learn and I really don't know how to explain it. But, I can't believe that I hadn't experienced it earlier on in life.

Some of the lessons I've been learning for the past few weeks have been tough, and hard to hear at best. I'm glad that I'm figuring so many things out though. The other day I my entire life's emotional timeline fell into place and I realized exactly what and why I've been doing things since I was 10 years old. There was an enormous moment of gratitude and silence. Everything just clicked and I loved it. I can only hope and pray for many more moments exactly like that.