Week 6, Day 7

Today ends week 6, Discovering a Sense of Boundaries.

I don't know if I've had any boundary issues this week. I've had my boundaries sexually respected, which was actually really nice. The person said, I respect your choice. To be honest, if I were with someone who said they were currently practicing abstinence I don't know if I'd be able to help myself from pressing the envelope. It's a great feeling to hear someone say, "I respect you." I realize how weird that sounds, everyone should respect each other, and I know that I don't always do it myself. The experience makes me want to reexamine past situations I've been in and understand how respectful I am or am not to everyone else.

This week has been rough for me emotionally. I really have such massive ups and downs with emotions. When I get stressed out, I get anxiety and I STILL want to smoke. I literally was only smoking maybe 1 or 2 cigarettes a day for maybe 8 weeks. I was nowhere near a pack a day or anything close to that. But, still after 6 full weeks I feel a draw to smoke when I get stressed. Perhaps I was addicted to nicotine a bit? I still haven't drank, which has been very difficult because of the bartending. But, overall, I'm getting much more done productivity wise with my life.

My painting is coming along nicely. And I'm excited to have it eventually hanging in my room.

Tomorrow begins week 7, Discovering a Sense of Momentum....